From: The Lisbon Tile Museum 

Our Father,

Who art in Hendon

Harrow be Thy name

Thy Kingston come,

Thy Wimbledon

In Erith as it is in Hendon.

Give us this day our Berkhampstead

And forgive us our Westminsters

As we forgive those who Westminster against us

And lead us not into Temple Station

But deliver us from Ealing,

For Thine is the Kingston,

The Purley and the Crawley,

For Iver and Iver.

Crouch End.




An alternative version of

Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star:

Scintillate, scintillate

Globule vivific

Fain would I fathom

Thy nature specific

Loftily perched

In the ether capacious

Strongly resembling

A gem carbonaceous.



Tommy Cooper: ‘So I said to my wife, I said, “Remember that water-proof, dust-proof, rust-

proof, shock-proof watch you bought me for Christmas? Well, luv, it caught fire.”’


Kenneth Horne: ‘Aha! Suddenly there bears down upon us the terrifying figure of Abdul Ali Big Ben Rashid, the Butcher of Baghdad.’

Kenneth Williams: ‘Oooh! ’Allo.’

Horne: ‘M’boy, you’ll have to be butcher than that.’


From C.S. Lewis’ Autobiography.

• I would rather meet a ghost than a tarantula

• The trouble about insects is that they are like French locomotives, they have all the works on the outside

• Two things most dreaded by our own species - the dominance of the female and the dominance of the collective.

• When the boy passes from nursery literature to school stories he is going down, not up.

• I was being accused of an offence which I lacked the resources to commit.

• The universe was, in the main, a rather regrettable institution

• I am one of those on whom nature had laid the doom that whatever they buy and whatever they wear they will always look as if they had come out of an old clothes shop.

• What I felt for the dancing mistress was sheer appetite, the prose and not the poetry of the flesh.

• The Renaissance = vernal rapture

• The unskilled butchery of the first German War.

• I woke from building the temple to find that the God had flown.

• The horror of the Christian universe was that it had no door marked Exit.

• A young man who wishes to remain a sound Atheist cannot be too careful of his reading.

• Like Spinoza, they so love their God as to be unable even to wish that He should love them in return.

• It is more important that heaven should exist than that any of us should reach it.

• A love for one woman differs from love for another woman in the very same way and the very same degree as the two women differ from one another.


"In many parts of the world, the family is under siege,

It is opposed by an anti-life

mentality as is seen in contraception, abortion, infanticide and

euthanasia. It is scorned and banalized by pornography, desecrated

by fornication and adultery, mocked by homosexuality, sabotaged

by irregular unions and cut in two by divorce."

                                                                                Cardinal Arinze



"Religion is the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people."


                                                                               The actual quote from an essay, Attribution, by Karl Marx (1818-1883),.


Father Edwin Gordon. R.I.P.

The Popular Fatima Prayer Book is now available in Portuguese and Spanish as well as English - each with supplementary material suitable for pilgrims from countries speaking these languages.

All available at the same price. For discounted bulk orders (more than 10 copies)email